Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
