Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
