Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize