dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
