thus making me awesome and them whores
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
