Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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