forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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