Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
