if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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