real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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