He asked me if I "almost moaned"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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