that's an acceptable place to lick
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
