your room smells of hookers.
And success
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
