your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize