I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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