the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
