I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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