Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
4 words: hood of his car
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
