I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
