Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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