I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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