Whod you bang
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I FOUND THE LEGS
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
