Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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