He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It was confusing and full of hummus
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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