TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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