chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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