I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
