lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I did not marry a roomba.
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