bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize