You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
