I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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