hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
