The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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