Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
