think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
