can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
