You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he shaved USA in his pubs
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
