I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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