No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
