The maid of honor just puked.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
