the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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