Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize