I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
