I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
