allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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