I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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