Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
