id be glad to
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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