Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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