omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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