Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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