I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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