he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
