It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
