so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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