Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have fence marks all over my body
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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