already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I believe in your delicious
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
