This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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