I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize