WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
