the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
