Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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