So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
