He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
