please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
