He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
