its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
