I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
