I feel like I'm in dance class right now
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
